Martin Roberts

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What home comforts do you miss when away on your caravan holidays? It's time again for Practical Caravan's Martin Roberts to let his imagination run wild!

As far as I’m concerned, my caravan has just about everything that a good ‘home from home’ requires.

There’s a comfy fixed bed, a perfectly adequate kitchen, a nice-sized fridge (as long as I use the additional one outside as a wine cooler!), a flushing toilet (yes, I know it needs emptying every now and then, but let’s just skip over that bit for now), generally nice views out of the window, a DVD player and a large-screen TV, and even a doorbell.

So what could I possibly yearn for? A swimming pool? Nope – our favourite site already has one of those!

A snooker room perhaps? Again, nope – there’s a good pub nearby that has a full-sized table.

Perhaps a treehouse and a climbing frame for the kids? No, both of these are just around the corner.

The only thing I can honestly say I yearn for when I’m away from home is a garden.

Now, before you get all defensive, I know that the nicer caravan parks have lovely grounds and many of them are amply covered in grassy and bushy space around the individual pitches.

Others are to be found nestling amid spectacular scenery in some of the most gobsmackingly beautiful locations this country can muster. But that’s simply not enough for me.

I want my own personal outdoor living space, one that is permanent and designed to meet my exact specifications.

My wish list is as follows:

  1. Rolling views to the horizon. Ideally in a westerly direction so that I can quaff my sundowners as the sun glimmers its golden last.
  2. Water features. Think the Palace of Versailles or the Bellagio in Las Vegas. I want dancing fountains choreographed to classical music. I want son et lumière with lasers and fireworks. I want Capability Brown crossed with Jacques Cousteau. I want spectacle.
  3. Forest. No, not just a few trees or bushes. I want the Amazon. I want the Blue Ridge Mountains and Queensland Rainforest. I want Westonbirt Arboretum and Kew Gardens combined. I want lost tribes yet to be discovered...
  4. Finally, I want flowers. Millions of them. Chelsea and Hampton Court flower shows mixed with a Suttons Seeds catalogue and the Interflora suggestions page. I want springtime explosions. I want buzzing bees. I want 24-hour fragrances and heart-stopping beauty.
         

So, that’s today’s small challenge set. How can I achieve all of this – in two small window boxes?

Visit Martin’s website for information about him, his books and his property training weekends, and follow his adventures on Twitter.
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