Holidays are such hard work. We go away to have a rest, but end up doing more work than we would do ordinarily: packing, preparing the caravan and car, booking pitches, and all before you have even left the front drive.
So, what should we do? Stop going on holiday? Get rid of the kids? Stay in a static caravan?
Practical Caravan has searched far and wide for a solution to this eternal dilemma. Our pursuit of wisdom was finally rewarded with inspiration from the ancient civilisations of the East: we entered the bizarre realm of Chindogu.
This venerable Japanese art dates way back to the late 1980s when Kenji Kawakami, an editor and onetime TV writer in Japan, invented the first chindogu gadget. In Japanese, chin means 'weird' and dogu means 'tool'; the word chindogu was coined for the art of an un-useless idea.
'Un-useless' because it is an idea that is strangely practical yet utterly eccentric. One of Kawakami's first inventions was a back-scratcher
T-shirt. A locator grid, like that on
a map, is printed on the back and the wearer consults a handheld miniature of the shirt back to direct a friend with unerring accuracy to that maddening itch.
We lack the resources to build prototypes – thus violating one of ten principles of the art – but nevertheless set out on a quest for caravan chindogus. We invited readers on caravan sites and at the Practical Caravan Forum to suggest some, and here is the pick of the bunch.
The 'Shallow' Member of the Family
This surreal but brilliant idea is from Maurice Norman of North London:
This is for the holiday snapper whose wife complains that there are no snaps of him with the family at well-known beauty spots. That's because he's the only one who knows how to use his camera (or who is allowed to use it). The solution: a lifelike, life-size cut-out of the family photographer. Set it up in a group shot at the summit of Snowdon or astride the Giant's Causeway, and there would be proof that dad really was there.
The cut-out could be made of plastic foam: it's sturdy and extra-light, so it won't stretch the payload. It could be held in place by other 'poseurs' or, with the pricier version, set up on its own stand. The disadvantage? There's only one pose.
Portable Pooch
Dogs can take up a lot of room in the car, so free up space there by transporting them in the caravan. Here's what Patrick O' Meara from Coventry suggested:
Put your dog in a harness and suspend him from the caravan ceiling using elastic luggage holders. The dog would be safer than in the car and it might even enjoy the gentle rocking motion of the van. It is a cheap and practical way to get man's best friend from home to site, which also leaves more room in the car for luggage.
Don't put your children in one of these: it is against the law to transport people in a caravan. Also, finding a harness big enough for a teenager could prove tricky.
A Glowing Idea
Hannah Satterthwaite of Berkshire offered a solution to problems posed by night-time trips to the loo:
We have long suffered the problem of members of the family getting up in the middle of the night to go to the toilet and switching on the washroom light. There is always that moment when the door is still open
and the light wakes us all up. That's where a glow-in-the-dark toilet seat would be a welcome addition to any tourer. There would be no need to put on
the light.
You could make the wash basin glow in the dark as well, just to remind people to wash their hands. You could even attach a glow-in-the-dark arrow on the washroom door, to make it easier to find.
Good Clean Fun
Trevor Cooper from Surrey offered this idea for permanently clean dishes without the need to wash up:
What we need are plates covered in several layers of cellophane that could be peeled off after each meal, so you would have a clean plate each time you wanted to eat. Not having to wash up would save water and time. Less washing up would also mean more time to cook elaborate meals or get on with your sightseeing. I think it would be more hygenic as well.
A Wheely Good Idea
Washing of a different kind was
on the mind of caravanner Lynn Irvine from Glasgow:
The only thing our caravan doesn't have is a washing machine. So, why not put a hollow drum, a bit like a washing machine drum, in the middle of a tyre? There would be a door you could open for loading in dirty clothes and adding the washing powder. Water could be poured in through a valve and, as you travelled, the wheel's rotation would provide the agitation as with a washing machine drum. When you had driven some way, you could empty the dirty water through the valve and fill it with fresh water to rinse the clothes.
You could put a similar device on the opposite wheel, which would act as a spin drier. The entire set-up would be very environmentally friendly, since it wouldn't use extra electricity
and would make further use of the car's fuel.
The Way Ahead
Caravanners are often accused of causing traffic jams, so it would be nice to find a way of helping our fellow motorists. Gerard Parry from Balham came up with
this solution:
If you fixed a video camera to the dashboard of your car, it would film what was ahead. You could relay the pictures to a big TV screen on the back of the van. Drivers behind would be able to see if it was safe to overtake.
Toilet Texts
On our Forum, a 'Mrs Hitchlock' had this brilliant suggestion:
I'd like some message system (perhaps with SMS texting) that would let me know whether the showers or toilets nearest to my pitch are unoccupied. That way I could avoid long queues and those times when the blocks are closed for cleaning.
A 'Green' Idea
Dave, on the Forum, sent us
a self-sufficient idea that would make you turn 'green' in more way than one.
How about a cassette loo that filters all the liquid, turning it into pure water ready for the Aquaroll? (We say: “Ugh!”)
Storage Solution
Like so many summer items, caravans need to be stored over the winter. Jenny Willard
from Staffordshire provided
a less-than-obvious solution:
Dig a deep pit just under your garage and install a hydraulic lift. You could reverse your caravan onto a platform on top of the lift, unhitch and press a button, sending the caravan safely into underground storage. You would then park your car on a section of floor that slides back over the pit automatically.
This arrangement would save you money on winter storage and the caravan would be protected
from the elements, which would make it last longer. It would
save you having to wash it so much as well.
Rain Man
As it usually rains on holidays, turn the weather to your advantage, says Ben Jones from Mid Glamorgan:
Why not have a device that would collect rainwater as it falls on the roof and channel it into the Aquaroll? Goodness knows we get enough rain when holidaying in Britain. All that would be needed would be some guttering on each side of the roof with a down pipe that leads into the Aquaroll. It would save going all the way to the standpipe and it would help you to appreciate the life-giving, trouble-saving properties of rain.
However, it would probably be best not to drink the water, as it would be carrying grime from the roof. Still, it would be clean enough to wash in. After all, showering uses an awful lot of water. Rainwater is also very 'soft', so it would be wonderful for washing hair and would lather up easily, so you would use less soap.
Fun At Bedtime
Mick visited the Forum and offered solutions to two problems to which we can all relate:
I'd like a self-erecting bed: press
a button and the front seats flip around and make into a double bed, complete with pillows and sleeping bags in place. There's nothing worse than nodding off in the evening after a few drinks, and facing the prospect of having to fumble around with a Rubik's cube of a bed.
And how about a built-in
anti-noise system as standard? It would be like the headphones you can get in noisy areas or on airliners. It would let you sleep throughout the night, despite wind and rain, and put an end to rude awakenings courtesy of the inevitable dawn chorus.
Retractable Cables
Mick is full of good ideas and suggested this way of combining
a few caravanning chores:
Mount mains and TV cables
onto self-retracting reels set in
a standard position on all vans to suit all pitches. Pull out the cables and plug them into the matching pitch bollard, which would also be standardised, within seconds.
A similar system would work for water and wastewater lines, which would be plugged into connectors set in the ground.
Steady On
'Zbungle' on the Forum has this simple take on pitching up:
How about a quick-release mechanism for the corner steadies. Instead of 100 revolutions to get them down to ground level, flick a lever and they touch the ground. Use the winder to make final adjustments.
Similarly, to bring the legs up, use the winder to take the weight off, then flick the lever so that they can be lifted to the up position. A locking mechanism could be included for added security.
Thank you for all your ideas and help. They show what an inventive bunch caravanners can be. After all, who are we to let common sense get in the way of a good idea?
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